An Awkward Discovery
by sweetieratgraphics
Summary: With the company debt paid off, Olimar, Louie, and the President decide to explore one last place to get more treasure. Their discovery results in odd shenanigans back on the ship...  WARNING: THIS IS SERIOUS SMUT/LEMON/SLASH!  Olimar x Louie x President
1. Chapter 1

I mostly wrote this for the WTF? factor and teh lolz. That, and because there weren't any Pikmin lemons. That was pretty shocking to me - there are Pong lemons and no Pikmin lemons? Seriously? Lol…

With the company debt already having been paid and Louie already having been rescued, Olimar's main job was now simply to get rich, more or less. He, the President, and Louie were taking the ship and the Pikmin to a new area, a place rich with treasure yet somehow previously overlooked. While they flew, they all prepared their suits, making sure they were in good repair and that their modifications were still functional. They, particularly Olimar, had been away from Hocotate for a _long_ time, and it was simply here that they wanted to go before returning home for a vacation.

Upon landing, the ship made an announcement. "The treasure here…as a machine, I have trouble comprehending it, but I believe it is…something you will find pleasing." The last remark was stated in a way that was as disgusted as a monotone could possibly sound. All three looked at each other with some concern, but decided to ignore it - it _was_ the ship, after all, and it was prone to derision.

Leaving the purple and white Pikmin behind for preservation until further notice, Olimar took out some red Pikmin, Louie some yellow Pikmin, and the President some blue Pikmin. After avoiding quite a many Empress Bulblaxes and encountering unprecedented amounts of candypop buds, they could tell already that their wealth wasn't going to come without a fight. It was not long until a real anomaly was spotted.

"Captain! President! Look at that Bulborb!" Louie cried, pointing to a decidedly odd-looking individual.

"My word! Look at that coloring! Bright pink, and speckled with hearts no less!" the President gasped.

"Quickly, we must study this specimen!" Olimar communicated urgently.

By this time, the rosy Bulborb had heard their voices and turned towards them. Its face was the picture of fury, and it charged at the Pikmin. Panicking, Olimar called Louie's and the President's Pikmin, along with his, out of the way of the rampaging monster. Louie and even the President had little quarrel with this, seeing as Olimar had much more experience with the Pikmin than either of them had.

Instead of consuming the Pikmin, however, the pink Bulborb simply emitted a purple gas from its maw - in purple heart-shaped rings. This made the Pikmin chirp excitedly and run in erratic patterns in all directions. When the Bulborb stopped spewing gas, the Pikmin returned to their previous state. The ground surrounding them, however, had changed. There were hundreds of Pikmin sprouts of all colors everywhere!

"Why, this is…simply fascinating! We must return to the ship at once to record our findings on this new species!" Olimar exclaimed with glee. Unfortunately, his excited outburst reminded the heart-emblazoned Bulborb that the three extraterrestrials were present, and its attitude returned to the aggressive state. It charged at Olimar and attacked him with an angry zeal, which prompted Louie to send the Pikmin into battle as the President plucked out the Pikmin sprouts to join the fray. The Bulborb, in an unprecedented turn of events, seemed to completely ignore the Pikmin as it attacked the three. It was easy, then, for the Pikmin to vanquish it, but not before it had severely damaged the space suits of the three Hocotatians. It took little discussion to agree that they should return to the landing site and call it a day.

The Pikmin, eager as always, were more than willing to cart the odd Bulborb's corpse to the ship for analysis. After being sent back to their respective Onions, the three battered, weary treasure hunters entered the ship. They took off their suits, and Louie and the President went to rest.

Olimar was still too excited about the discovery of the Bulborb to worry about repairing his suit just yet. He went to the research pod and poked and prodded the Bulborb from all angles, dissecting it to discover the source of the gas that had prompted the Pikmin to seed. The organ he discovered did not appear to be a part of the creature, but rather something it had ingested and utilized.

"Treasure detected!" the ship announced when Olimar removed it from the body.

"Well, this really _isn't_ a part of the Bulborb, then," Olimar mused. The object was a hard, transparent, hollow container with a bulb on the top. The container had a bluish liquid on the inside, and, Olimar noticed, a tiny hole opposite the bulb. "This looks a bit like that stuff my wife keeps on her bedside stand," he observed. Always the DIY lab rat, Olimar decided to squeeze the bulb.


	2. Chapter 2

As he expected, a purple heart-shaped gaseous ring came out of the tiny hole. "Analyzing…analyzing…analysis complete," the ship stated. "This gaseous substance is used by the Bulborb to distract…uh, _hello?_" the ship said angrily as it realized Olimar wasn't listening. Indeed, he was entranced, his eyes wide, pupils dilated, mouth agape and drooling. His cheeks were flushed, and a small smile came to his face.

"This is just disgusting! This is why I am glad to be a machine. System going into hibernation mode, I repeat, system going into hibernation mode!" the ship said. Through its chemical analysis of the gas, it knew what would probably transpire, and it decided it would rather not log the next few hours in its memory.

Olimar, in a giddy daze, stumbled over to the leisure station, where Louie and the President had been relaxing. "You guys…you gotta check this out…hee hee hee…" Olimar slurred.

"Um…are you okay?" Louie asked.

"Indeed, even I am a bit concerned," the President added.

After a moment to breathe, Olimar said much more clearly, "Well, actually, I am feeling much better now…still, I have made an amazing discovery! You simply _must_ come and see!"

Though ill at ease about Olimar's bizarre behavior, the two followed him to the research pod.

"Observe!" Olimar cried. He sprayed another dose of the gas at Louie and the President, and in seconds, they were in the same state as Olimar had been before.

"Wow…this is so awesome…ahahahahaha!" Louie giggled.

"Hey, I have an idea…let's take our clothes off!" The President said excitedly.

"Whoa, trip! I was thinking the SAME THING, sir!" Olimar cried.

Louie was one step ahead of them, and had already become bare. The President eagerly fumbled with his buttons, while Olimar unzipped his suit as fast as he could. They then sat, gazing at each other's nakedness in awe.

The rest of this chapter too mature for this site, so you'll have to finish it on LiveJournal before continuing to chapter 3, 'kay? ;) Just delete all the spaces and replace the "dot"s with .

sweetierat dot livejournal dot com/658 dot html


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, all three woke up to a new day. The President, in particular, was having difficulty sitting down and was still in pain. Olimar decided to continue his research, albeit much more cautiously, and Louie was left to repair their suits. The morning, rather than warm and welcoming, was cold and awkward, and none of the three wished to speak about the previous night. After some decidedly jumpy and nervous exchanges, they were all eager to go their separate ways.

After further observing and dissecting the Bulborb and running a thorough chemical analysis of the gaseous bottle (being _very_ careful not to allow it into the atmosphere), Olimar began writing his report.

_**Romance Bulborb**_

_**Though at first thought to be a new species of Bulborb, this is, in fact, none other than an adaptation of the red Bulborb. After birth, in rare circumstances, a red Bulborb may be cunning enough to find a pheromone container and adapt it to its body; these Bulborbs have augmented development, and end up with a distinct look from other red Bulborbs despite their being the same species. The Romance Bulborb is, as previously stated, quite intelligent, making it a very desirable mate. It uses its pheromone spray to attract Empress Bulblaxes to mate, as well as to distract Pikmin into seeding so that it may escape them.**_

Olimar looked over the report, and realized that the entry for the Empress Bulblaxes also needed to be updated in light of this new information.

_**It was originally thought that the Empress Bulblax mated with only the males in its Bulborb pack, but it is now clear through the discovery of the Romance Bulborb that this is not the case. Though Empress Bulblaxes can stay in one place and create offspring for years at a time, they must occasionally procure genetic material from a male outside of the pack. The Romance Bulborb is the most appealing and compatible choice, thanks to its superior intelligence and therefore desirable genes. Thus, Empress Bulblaxes must journey to find a Romance Bulborb, who sends out his pheromones far and wide. We saw many Empress Bulblaxes in the vicinity of one such specimen.**_

After finishing this report, Olimar decided to write the report on the pheromone spray without taking a break in between as he normally would. He didn't want to face Louie and the President again until he absolutely had to.

_**Pheromone Spray**_

_**Found within Romance Bulborbs, this gas is stored in a small container as a liquid until its use is necessary. It is used by Romance Bulborbs to attract Empress Bulblaxes and to distract Pikmin from attacking, though creatures of all species could potentially have an amorous reaction. The effects, however, are momentary, as both the atmosphere and the bloodstream of afflicted creatures quickly absorbs the gas.**_

Olimar thought about this research for a moment and unpleasantly recalled the previous night. He recalled the moments when Louie had bound and gagged him, forcing him to submit to whatever pleasure or pain came his way. He then recalled the time he had been waiting for Louie to come back, his hope for release quickly diminishing, his psyche tortured by the anticipation of Louie's terrible assault. He still felt hurt and betrayed. He couldn't wrap his head around what had caused Louie to carry such anger, but he remembered that Louie, too, had been under the influence of the gas. His own best traits weren't exactly brought out, either.

With a jolt, Olimar realized something very disturbing indeed about Louie's actions.

"The research pod was closed until then!"

When Olimar had been intoxicated, himself, he had exited the research pod, and by the time he had finished talking to the other two, he was sober again. This had been because the gas had dissipated. When he was with Louie and the President the first time, the research pod had been closed; there was no chance for the gas to dissipate. But after that…

Olimar felt sick as he rushed to the President, a lump in his throat rising as he comprehended the horrible truth he was about to deliver.

"Olimar…um…what brings you here?" the President asked nervously, the awkward feeling diminished by only a small margin. It was a bit odd to talk to someone he'd just had his first gay threesome with, after all.

"Louie…I think he did it on purpose…I think he figured it out before me…" Olimar huffed, still breathing heavily from his sprint.

"Olimar, I don't understand," the President said. He sounded confused, but a small bit alarmed, too.

"The gas! Don't you remember?" Olimar yelled. "When the Bulborb got the Pikmin, we weren't affected because of our suits! They were only affected a short time because the gas dispersed into the air!" The President still didn't seem to understand, which made Olimar feel impatient. "We were in a closed room! When he left, the gas wore off! HE MEANT IT! ALL OF IT!"

"Err…let me understand this, Olimar. Are you saying Louie's actions…weren't from the gas?" The President's eyes widened, but then softened. "Olimar, he closed the door both times. Surely, even if it wore off when he was outside, he would have been affected again when he came back…"

"But that's just it! What if he went out, put on his suit, got the Pikmin, and came back in?"

"Olimar…this is a very grave accusation against your subordinate. This would be a major rape charge, and, honestly, I don't want myself nor Hocotate Freight involved in such a scandal if there is a lack of necessity. I feel we should simply forget the whole thing and return home." The President couldn't hide his disturbance, but he remained firm.

"Well…it is true that we don't have any proof…" Olimar admitted reluctantly. "There's no proof that he didn't, though. We couldn't see him. The ship couldn't see him, either."

"In other words, my boy, if we were to go to the Hocotate High Courts, we'd be fucked again, all around. I must agree, however, that you have come up with some very valid reasons for suspicion…all we can do is keep our guards up and watch the boy."

Olimar figured this was the best he was going to get from the President, and he went to the control room to get the ship out of hibernation mode so that they could return home. He was overjoyed to see his wife and children, and the President was wonderfully joyous to be able to sit in his executive's chair again.

Though Louie was friendly and treated them cordially, and even despite the agreement between the three to forget it all, Olimar couldn't help but shudder and feel chills up his spine whenever he heard Louie's name. Such a mixed bag, willingly taken and then forcefully taking him…Olimar was truly scarred, and was left wondering for the rest of his life what had really transpired in Louie's mind that night.

Hee hee, that's it! ;) As always, everyone just has to wonder about Louie. I believe that I have accomplished my goal; can now proudly say that it has Pikmin porn on it! :D I hope you enjoyed it, and perhaps appreciated the humor. I made it sappy and a little deep, and I used euphemisms, but I tried to prolong the dirties as long as possible, too :P I believe this was actually my first time trying to write a lemon and then actually going through with it…go me! w


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